I'm being weird. It's been almost a week since i came back from the camp. Somehow, i kinda miss the times i had during my short period of stay in that sometimes-horrid camp. : I guess i'm being sentimental again, but i can't help smiling when i recall some certain memories i had there with my friends. That was a good one to last me for life(hopefully).
.........
............
..............OH GOD What is wrong with me?!? Why am i being so dramatically emotional?!? *shivers* >.<
Back to current issues, it's tests/exams season for me, a-fucking-gain. :( Seems like i have test all year round. Now, i'm sure that most adults especially teachers think that having more tests is a good way to test students and "encourage them to work harder" for a better grade.
But let me say, that is an awfully wrong concept. Sure, tests/exams once in a while are necessary. But not all the damn time. It's so stressfully for some of us who are already having a hard time struggling to keep up with our studies and homework. And when we fail to get a good grade, all our confidence are destroyed in a blink of an eye. All the "if you fail, then work harder" and "think positive" talk is definitely much easier said than done. It's not a piece of pie to recover and struggle once again doing the same thing.
However, this time, i am at fault. Like every other time, i failed to plan, i failed to control myself, i failed to discipline myself to study. And like the usual, i studied at the last minute. I shouldn't even be writing this now, but i should be sitting in the kitchen and studying Bio. Physics test scared me half to death because i did not know how to do it al all, and yet i'm still here typing this instead of studying. So i guess all my talk and vows to worker harder, they're nothing but pretty empty words. Yet again, i failed to keep a promise.
I should never promise another anything. I can't be trusted. I am the vowbreaker.
Saturday, July 30, 2005
Monday, July 25, 2005
I'm A Survivor!!
Yes. I did it. I survived the outdoor and trials of nature. O_o
It's good to be back in civilazation, honestly. I never felt better reaching home, back to where i belong and where my comforts are.
The camp was a tough one. I was expecting a lot of talks, seeing as it was a moral camp, but it turned out to be somewhat more like a boot camp, with 85% of it are outdoor activities. I can't say i was happy when i first reached the place. The camp was located at Kuala Pangsun, Hulu Langat, Selangor, approximately an hour drive from my school. It was quite a rural area, and of course with a jungle surrounding and it was near the village of 'orang asli's. When me, my friends and other students(129 of us) first reached there, we already got a severe scolding, warning and lecture from the damned and mean facilitators.
Then it was the traditional ice-breaking among us, which was rather pointless because i still didn't get to know names of other people anyway. We were divided into groups, and i was placed in group 1, and chosen as the leader of it, unfortunately.There wasmerciless torture marching sessions and so on.
Later at night, there was there Nightwalk activity through the jungle. As the leader of the 1st group, i was the first person out of 129 poeple to do everything. It kinda freaked me out at first, but then i realized it was actually a blessing from the lords to be the first person to do everything, because i always got help from the facilitators. So i'm always safe. Thank god for that. The Nightwalk was fun in fact, and i must say that i learned quite a lot of survival skills in the jungle during night time if i ever get lost. But the fucking joke was that, after the Nightwalk activity, at about 2 fucking am in the morning, we were forced to dive into the icy-cold river and cross a bamboo-stick-line by going underneath it(it was laying on top of the river surface). I had no choice but to do so and nearly freezed to death after that.The dormitory that they let us stay in was of course very very plain and very very poor quiality in the facilites such as the toilets and bed, but i wasn't expecting much anyway. 15 poeple crammed up in one small room. Not exactly my defination of 'comfort'.
The 2nd day was the most tedious and challenging of all. There was the usual Jungle Trekking activity. But it was the most extreme one i've ever done of all the camps i've been through. 2 bloody hours of torturous hike up a 1400 ft moutain. It was really demanding and tiring like hell. But when we reached on the moutain top, we were allowed to play in the river. That was the fun part of it, but personally i don't think 2 hours of death hike was worth a little bit of river swimming later. Had lunch there and as one of the leaders of a group i had to carry the rubbish thrown by other students down the hill. -____- IT WAS INSANE. Thank heavens i had kind friends who helped take turns to carry the bag of rubbish down the hill. It was another 1 hour 30 mins++ hike down the hill. All together it was almost a 4 hour long task. And i SURVIVED it. GO me!
After that, there was an Obstacle Course activity, and my muscles were already aching like mad from the jungle trekking. But i endured it as i had no choice and did all the obstacles, including doing a Comando Crawl in a pond of filthy, smelly stagnant pond. When my group suceeded finishing all the task, i actually felt rather happy and proud. And i did enjoy the course, EXCEPT the crawling in the filthy pond. Bathed, or more like cleaned myself(never thought i did actually enjoy bathing there with river water, but i did, after the unbearable stench of the pond), play a silly stock market game at night(it was a bit exciting though) and everybody crashed out early that night. It was actually quite cold in that place, especially when near dawn at bout 6am in the morn. Unluckily for me, i did not bring a blanket and so i had to just use my jacket to cover my legs at night. It was insufficient to keep my teeth from chattering though.
The third day, we played some stupid games again, but the game was extremely tough and demanded group work/cooperation. My group however wasn't that efficient in that part and we failed to win the game. But i was just glad when it was over. At the closing ceremony, the real surprise came to me. My group won the Best Group category, which was totally unexpected as my group did not work properly at all. But then it was definitely worth the effort that i put in to maintain the group. We then boarded the bus and when back at 1 in the afternoon. I reached home at bout 2 something in the afternoon, unpacked, bathed and straight away crashed out for the rest of te day.
I dreaded the camp at 1st and i was brooding in the camp as well. But now...i can't believe i'm gonna say this, but i'm glad i went to the camp. I had fun at times, though it was damn tough, challenging, and torturous most of the time. And i think the camp actually did me some good. It was actually my 1st experience as a leader of a group in activities like these, as i'm usually a very inactivite person and always the follower, never the leader. I enjoyed the time there with my friends and certain activities, and it wasn't that bad once the we warmed up with the facilitators, though they were irritating most of the time. Though my whole body is severely aching now, it was kinda worth it, knowing that i managed to survive a harsh environment. It made me realize how lucky i am to have comforts at home and not living in the jungle and i should be extremely thankful for what i have. It may not be a total pleasant memory or experience, but it was definitely a valuable one for me.
It's good to be back in civilazation, honestly. I never felt better reaching home, back to where i belong and where my comforts are.
The camp was a tough one. I was expecting a lot of talks, seeing as it was a moral camp, but it turned out to be somewhat more like a boot camp, with 85% of it are outdoor activities. I can't say i was happy when i first reached the place. The camp was located at Kuala Pangsun, Hulu Langat, Selangor, approximately an hour drive from my school. It was quite a rural area, and of course with a jungle surrounding and it was near the village of 'orang asli's. When me, my friends and other students(129 of us) first reached there, we already got a severe scolding, warning and lecture from the damned and mean facilitators.
Then it was the traditional ice-breaking among us, which was rather pointless because i still didn't get to know names of other people anyway. We were divided into groups, and i was placed in group 1, and chosen as the leader of it, unfortunately.There was
Later at night, there was there Nightwalk activity through the jungle. As the leader of the 1st group, i was the first person out of 129 poeple to do everything. It kinda freaked me out at first, but then i realized it was actually a blessing from the lords to be the first person to do everything, because i always got help from the facilitators. So i'm always safe. Thank god for that. The Nightwalk was fun in fact, and i must say that i learned quite a lot of survival skills in the jungle during night time if i ever get lost. But the fucking joke was that, after the Nightwalk activity, at about 2 fucking am in the morning, we were forced to dive into the icy-cold river and cross a bamboo-stick-line by going underneath it(it was laying on top of the river surface). I had no choice but to do so and nearly freezed to death after that.The dormitory that they let us stay in was of course very very plain and very very poor quiality in the facilites such as the toilets and bed, but i wasn't expecting much anyway. 15 poeple crammed up in one small room. Not exactly my defination of 'comfort'.
The 2nd day was the most tedious and challenging of all. There was the usual Jungle Trekking activity. But it was the most extreme one i've ever done of all the camps i've been through. 2 bloody hours of torturous hike up a 1400 ft moutain. It was really demanding and tiring like hell. But when we reached on the moutain top, we were allowed to play in the river. That was the fun part of it, but personally i don't think 2 hours of death hike was worth a little bit of river swimming later. Had lunch there and as one of the leaders of a group i had to carry the rubbish thrown by other students down the hill. -____- IT WAS INSANE. Thank heavens i had kind friends who helped take turns to carry the bag of rubbish down the hill. It was another 1 hour 30 mins++ hike down the hill. All together it was almost a 4 hour long task. And i SURVIVED it. GO me!
After that, there was an Obstacle Course activity, and my muscles were already aching like mad from the jungle trekking. But i endured it as i had no choice and did all the obstacles, including doing a Comando Crawl in a pond of filthy, smelly stagnant pond. When my group suceeded finishing all the task, i actually felt rather happy and proud. And i did enjoy the course, EXCEPT the crawling in the filthy pond. Bathed, or more like cleaned myself(never thought i did actually enjoy bathing there with river water, but i did, after the unbearable stench of the pond), play a silly stock market game at night(it was a bit exciting though) and everybody crashed out early that night. It was actually quite cold in that place, especially when near dawn at bout 6am in the morn. Unluckily for me, i did not bring a blanket and so i had to just use my jacket to cover my legs at night. It was insufficient to keep my teeth from chattering though.
The third day, we played some stupid games again, but the game was extremely tough and demanded group work/cooperation. My group however wasn't that efficient in that part and we failed to win the game. But i was just glad when it was over. At the closing ceremony, the real surprise came to me. My group won the Best Group category, which was totally unexpected as my group did not work properly at all. But then it was definitely worth the effort that i put in to maintain the group. We then boarded the bus and when back at 1 in the afternoon. I reached home at bout 2 something in the afternoon, unpacked, bathed and straight away crashed out for the rest of te day.
I dreaded the camp at 1st and i was brooding in the camp as well. But now...i can't believe i'm gonna say this, but i'm glad i went to the camp. I had fun at times, though it was damn tough, challenging, and torturous most of the time. And i think the camp actually did me some good. It was actually my 1st experience as a leader of a group in activities like these, as i'm usually a very inactivite person and always the follower, never the leader. I enjoyed the time there with my friends and certain activities, and it wasn't that bad once the we warmed up with the facilitators, though they were irritating most of the time. Though my whole body is severely aching now, it was kinda worth it, knowing that i managed to survive a harsh environment. It made me realize how lucky i am to have comforts at home and not living in the jungle and i should be extremely thankful for what i have. It may not be a total pleasant memory or experience, but it was definitely a valuable one for me.
Friday, July 22, 2005
Outdoor Terror.
I don't have much time to write. In a few minutes, i'll have to take a quick show, and then leave for a CAMPING NIGHTMARE TRIP in the middle of the jungle with my school mates. Apparently it was supposed to be a moral training camp. I must say, i'm not overly impressed with the camping centre and in fact am rather worried about the facilities there.
Now, i don't wanna sounds like a fucking spoiled brat, but WTF?! I'm going for a camp! NO computers and comfort for 3 days 2 nights!!! Argghh...I'll admit that i felt rather excited at first, but now i've come to realize that i was never the outdoor type. Plus i ahev exams once i return, lotas homework to finish and a damned Add Math project to finish.
Going to the camp will be somewhat a waste of time. Even though i'll be there less than 55 hours or so(technically), but still...it seems such a long time until this camp thingy will be over. I dread the activities there, though i know it could be fun and i'll try to enjoy, no doubt. But i'm now praying extremely hard that they don't include mud or any vile things in the so-called 'training' activities. :(
I have to double-check my items and take a shower soon.
Good bye, civilazation!
Now, i don't wanna sounds like a fucking spoiled brat, but WTF?! I'm going for a camp! NO computers and comfort for 3 days 2 nights!!! Argghh...I'll admit that i felt rather excited at first, but now i've come to realize that i was never the outdoor type. Plus i ahev exams once i return, lotas homework to finish and a damned Add Math project to finish.
Going to the camp will be somewhat a waste of time. Even though i'll be there less than 55 hours or so(technically), but still...it seems such a long time until this camp thingy will be over. I dread the activities there, though i know it could be fun and i'll try to enjoy, no doubt. But i'm now praying extremely hard that they don't include mud or any vile things in the so-called 'training' activities. :(
I have to double-check my items and take a shower soon.
Good bye, civilazation!
Sunday, July 17, 2005
Harry Potter and the now Half-crazy person who read it.
So. Harry Potter. i will have no doubt that millions of poeple had waited for the date/day of the international release. And i'll admit that i'm one of those few millions. Wait, i did i say few? i mean many.
I was going to wake up in the early dawn and go purchase the 6th Harry Potter book in Kinokuniya. But most unfortunately i had bloody add-math tuition, so i couldn't join the fun in getting the book with my greedy hands. :
And today i have completed a feat somewhat inpossible for a lazy person like me. I actually finished a 600++ pages book in only a mere 2 days!! Well...i'm sure hardcore fans around the world can finish the book in 3 hours or so. To me, the book was oddly somewhat a burden. I just had to finish it no matter what. i had to finish it so that i will have time for other things, so that it will not interfere with my other works. I just felt like i had to finish it a.s.a.p. Funny ain't it?
Credits to J.K Rowling for writing another HP book. Sadly i have to say it wasn't exactly brilliant, and i was somewhat dissapointed in it. I was hoping that it would at least better than the 5th book. But i was definitely dissapointed with the ending. I'm not sure i know i what Rowling is thinking, but i definitely hope for a compensation or something in the next and last book.
The plot is still there, thankfully. But Harry is annoying me till no end. Too much teenage angst in him for me. And i thought he was being bloody nosy in some occasions. i'm not quite sure if i liked the way how the story is turning out. And i refuse to believe the ending of the book(not spoiling it here!). Ron and Hermione too...growing in their character and the chemistry between them annoys me as well. i can't help but to feel a stab of pity for Harry in the end though. I felt rather empty after reading it. It had to be the most morbid HP book in the series so far. Let's just hope it doesn't have such a sordid ending in the final end.
Another year to wait seems a long time more...now that i'm halfway through the series, i really can't abandon the Harry Potter series mid-way, especially when it's nearing the ending. I often wonder if J.K Rowling will write what happens to Harry in his life after Hogwarts, after the seventh book. Well, in the mean time, i think i shall the just wait patiently for the last installment, and cross my fingers hopping it'll be good.
I was going to wake up in the early dawn and go purchase the 6th Harry Potter book in Kinokuniya. But most unfortunately i had bloody add-math tuition, so i couldn't join the fun in getting the book with my greedy hands. :
And today i have completed a feat somewhat inpossible for a lazy person like me. I actually finished a 600++ pages book in only a mere 2 days!! Well...i'm sure hardcore fans around the world can finish the book in 3 hours or so. To me, the book was oddly somewhat a burden. I just had to finish it no matter what. i had to finish it so that i will have time for other things, so that it will not interfere with my other works. I just felt like i had to finish it a.s.a.p. Funny ain't it?
Credits to J.K Rowling for writing another HP book. Sadly i have to say it wasn't exactly brilliant, and i was somewhat dissapointed in it. I was hoping that it would at least better than the 5th book. But i was definitely dissapointed with the ending. I'm not sure i know i what Rowling is thinking, but i definitely hope for a compensation or something in the next and last book.
The plot is still there, thankfully. But Harry is annoying me till no end. Too much teenage angst in him for me. And i thought he was being bloody nosy in some occasions. i'm not quite sure if i liked the way how the story is turning out. And i refuse to believe the ending of the book(not spoiling it here!). Ron and Hermione too...growing in their character and the chemistry between them annoys me as well. i can't help but to feel a stab of pity for Harry in the end though. I felt rather empty after reading it. It had to be the most morbid HP book in the series so far. Let's just hope it doesn't have such a sordid ending in the final end.
Another year to wait seems a long time more...now that i'm halfway through the series, i really can't abandon the Harry Potter series mid-way, especially when it's nearing the ending. I often wonder if J.K Rowling will write what happens to Harry in his life after Hogwarts, after the seventh book. Well, in the mean time, i think i shall the just wait patiently for the last installment, and cross my fingers hopping it'll be good.
Saturday, July 09, 2005
The Horror
This is a real-life thing i encountered today.
I had no idea how i found myself standing before this..this creature. I had no further idea how or what made me go nearer to it in the first place. I moved forward, not even once turning my face away although i was very much tempted to, and was about a good 40cm only or so away from it. I held my breath, then slowly breathed heavily. It was so near! Then I found that i no longer had the heart to proceed forward any more than i already stood.
I looked at it directly at the not-so-pleasant face. There were red blotchy patches all over the skin of its face, which was also shining grossly with oil covering it. The skin of its face wasn't as smooth as it was supposed to be. It was terrifyingly bumpy here and there with tiny little holes on it. There were also horrible small red boils with whitish yellow tips on the surface of the skin as well. I could count the boils. 1...2...3...4...and so many more that i lost the will to count after glancing at it.
Its nose was big, round and rather flat, with patches of skin noticeably peeling around it. Its hair settled about rather messily, and in a few more weeks, it would be screaming for a cut. I stared in horror into its tiny bleary but equally wide eyes. Its haggard dark brown eyes with extremely heavy black bags beneath them stared back at mine with utter bewilderment. There were cracks on its lips due to lack of water.
I couldn't think. I couldn't comprehend. But when i eventually found my voice, I whispered hoarsely, "Jesus, you're ugly."
It wasn't before another few seconds of staring at it, with a mixture of feeling of absolute horror, loathe and a bit of pity in me, that a tiny little voice pop into my head saying, "Okay Vonne, you should quit scaring yourself and stop looking at the mirror now."
--------------------------
Sigh.
I had no idea how i found myself standing before this..this creature. I had no further idea how or what made me go nearer to it in the first place. I moved forward, not even once turning my face away although i was very much tempted to, and was about a good 40cm only or so away from it. I held my breath, then slowly breathed heavily. It was so near! Then I found that i no longer had the heart to proceed forward any more than i already stood.
I looked at it directly at the not-so-pleasant face. There were red blotchy patches all over the skin of its face, which was also shining grossly with oil covering it. The skin of its face wasn't as smooth as it was supposed to be. It was terrifyingly bumpy here and there with tiny little holes on it. There were also horrible small red boils with whitish yellow tips on the surface of the skin as well. I could count the boils. 1...2...3...4...and so many more that i lost the will to count after glancing at it.
Its nose was big, round and rather flat, with patches of skin noticeably peeling around it. Its hair settled about rather messily, and in a few more weeks, it would be screaming for a cut. I stared in horror into its tiny bleary but equally wide eyes. Its haggard dark brown eyes with extremely heavy black bags beneath them stared back at mine with utter bewilderment. There were cracks on its lips due to lack of water.
I couldn't think. I couldn't comprehend. But when i eventually found my voice, I whispered hoarsely, "Jesus, you're ugly."
It wasn't before another few seconds of staring at it, with a mixture of feeling of absolute horror, loathe and a bit of pity in me, that a tiny little voice pop into my head saying, "Okay Vonne, you should quit scaring yourself and stop looking at the mirror now."
--------------------------
Sigh.
Saturday, July 02, 2005
The Awkward Class Trip. O_o
So, i had to wake up at an insane and cruel 7.40am today when there's no school, get ready and reach the train station by 8.00am. All for the class trip my classmateys planned(i'll give 'em credits for this one...).
It's the last year for all of us. So we had a lil trip to KLCC at 8.00am in the bloody morning to take pictures in the park there. Well, definitely not my choice of place for taking a class photograph. Initially i thought that was a rather..well..how shall i put it? Cheesy place, i suppose, to take a class picture. In a park. All of us. One big gang. KLCC PARK.
I at first thought we'll look like idiots going together, all 31 of us on a train. But when the time came, all my negative thoughts about this trip vanished. I simply enjoyed every single second of the trip, though we somewhat goofed all the way there and back. At the park, it was a bit awkward. Because i never thought i'd come here of all places to take pictures. But i was wrong. I joined them whole-heartly. I acted childish, i played a long as well. I joined a long in the fun. I took a hell lot of pictures and i had fun taking it, being in it, and now, looking at it.
Then we headed to Mid Valley where we had lunch, and then hit the bowling alley(not all of us though) and i with some others went for the arcade, before returning home later. I didn't buy anything, but i must've spent more than 50 bucks plus on this outing.
This trip taught me some stuff. Like you will never know until you try. Although i definitely cannot deny that i felt rather excited for this trip, i thought it was bit silly at first. Why? because....well...we're all grown up teenagers and flocking the park in one huge group like kiddies for mere pictures? Sounded rather childish to me. But i realized now i was being silly. When i was out, there was nothing wrong with it, and i truely enjoyed being together with my friends. Nothing beats that.
I look at the pictures now, and to think that this is gonna be published in the year book, i feel a bit sad really(i am not the sappy kind, and i've only known most of them for only 2 years). It's only about 4 more months left in my senior high school year. I'd love(no doubt.) and hate the day i get outta school. I'd hate it when we have to go on our sperate ways. But as they say, friends come and go, but no friendship will truely end, unless you want it to.
It's the last year for all of us. So we had a lil trip to KLCC at 8.00am in the bloody morning to take pictures in the park there. Well, definitely not my choice of place for taking a class photograph. Initially i thought that was a rather..well..how shall i put it? Cheesy place, i suppose, to take a class picture. In a park. All of us. One big gang. KLCC PARK.
I at first thought we'll look like idiots going together, all 31 of us on a train. But when the time came, all my negative thoughts about this trip vanished. I simply enjoyed every single second of the trip, though we somewhat goofed all the way there and back. At the park, it was a bit awkward. Because i never thought i'd come here of all places to take pictures. But i was wrong. I joined them whole-heartly. I acted childish, i played a long as well. I joined a long in the fun. I took a hell lot of pictures and i had fun taking it, being in it, and now, looking at it.
Then we headed to Mid Valley where we had lunch, and then hit the bowling alley(not all of us though) and i with some others went for the arcade, before returning home later. I didn't buy anything, but i must've spent more than 50 bucks plus on this outing.
This trip taught me some stuff. Like you will never know until you try. Although i definitely cannot deny that i felt rather excited for this trip, i thought it was bit silly at first. Why? because....well...we're all grown up teenagers and flocking the park in one huge group like kiddies for mere pictures? Sounded rather childish to me. But i realized now i was being silly. When i was out, there was nothing wrong with it, and i truely enjoyed being together with my friends. Nothing beats that.
I look at the pictures now, and to think that this is gonna be published in the year book, i feel a bit sad really(i am not the sappy kind, and i've only known most of them for only 2 years). It's only about 4 more months left in my senior high school year. I'd love(no doubt.) and hate the day i get outta school. I'd hate it when we have to go on our sperate ways. But as they say, friends come and go, but no friendship will truely end, unless you want it to.
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