15th November 2013.
I finally did it.
After weeks of turmoil, internal self-conflicts and many self debates, I finally booked a session with my manager and gave him the one letter that I have had so many doubts about when writing it.
It was hard to open my mouth. But when the session ended. I felt like a boulder off my chest. I am grateful to have such a gracious manager. And I am glad I did it.
I wasn't convinced that it was worth leaving one of the best MNC companies in the country for something as vague as "satisfaction in life". After all, I am in a good position, getting a steady pay, and have bright prospects in the company if I stayed. I haven't even achieved my goal of being a designer yet, which I would have in due time.
I've been asking myself, what is this "satisfaction in life" that I was looking for?? I still can't quite justify it. But... For the past year, I have been wishing for the same thing over and over again every time I see a bright star on the dark night skies. I thought, "Surely that must have accounted for something..?".
I couldn't find satisfaction staying in Penang. I had a great job, but I failed miserably at life in Penang. I need to shamefully admit this. Weekends here were always just me and myself, missing home. My colleagues were always busy with their own lives. I was envious when my close friends could have dinners on weekdays. I didn't like my housemates (They great friends, just not good housemates). I began to loath LDR. I started to hate flying so frequently. And I absolutely hate it when I have to choose who I wanted to spend my limited time with in KL.
But was all that worth giving up a good job for? I wasn't convinced so. But suddenly, opportunity presented itself to me. An opportunity to go back to KL. I didn't jump on it immediately...because I was afraid. Afraid that my 2 years in Penang would go to waste. Afraid that it's just an impulse and I would regret giving up my current field. Afraid that it would be a mistake to choose to go back for just for people.
I did a lot of soul searching and...online researches (what would we do without you, oh Google!). I found some inspiring posts. Among them who gave me the biggest impact was none other than Danny Choo, as well as James Altucher. Danny was amazing. His posts convinced me that it was okay to choose a location over a job. And he's happy.
The support I got from the people whom I care about most was overwhelming. That convinced me too.
In the end, I concluded that it is okay to choose something else over a good job in life. It is okay to reset to zero again and start again else where. It is okay if my reason for leaving is just to go home. It is not wrong if all I wanted was just to spend time with the people that I care about. If I am not happy with life outside my job, how can I say that I am happy as a whole?
People were also skeptical of me. Saying that I won't be able to make it again in KL. They couldn't leave themselves, so they hope that I will fail too to make them feel better. Well, I want to prove that person wrong. I still can do it again even if I had to start over.
I won't ever know if I would like what comes next or not, but right now, I would like to try.
So. I am leaving.
And strangely... after giving that letter, I am genuinely excited and looking forward to the change that will come.
It's the last 45 days of 2013. I'll be smiling. I'll be making plans. I am glad that I'm doing something that makes myself happy, even if it seems like a small matter to someone else.
Just broke the news to the people who think that I wouldn't ever make this decision. I'm having the last laugh now. It feels pretty damn good.
P/s: I kept a big resolution for 2013. Fuck yeah!!
I finally did it.
After weeks of turmoil, internal self-conflicts and many self debates, I finally booked a session with my manager and gave him the one letter that I have had so many doubts about when writing it.
It was hard to open my mouth. But when the session ended. I felt like a boulder off my chest. I am grateful to have such a gracious manager. And I am glad I did it.
I wasn't convinced that it was worth leaving one of the best MNC companies in the country for something as vague as "satisfaction in life". After all, I am in a good position, getting a steady pay, and have bright prospects in the company if I stayed. I haven't even achieved my goal of being a designer yet, which I would have in due time.
I've been asking myself, what is this "satisfaction in life" that I was looking for?? I still can't quite justify it. But... For the past year, I have been wishing for the same thing over and over again every time I see a bright star on the dark night skies. I thought, "Surely that must have accounted for something..?".
I couldn't find satisfaction staying in Penang. I had a great job, but I failed miserably at life in Penang. I need to shamefully admit this. Weekends here were always just me and myself, missing home. My colleagues were always busy with their own lives. I was envious when my close friends could have dinners on weekdays. I didn't like my housemates (They great friends, just not good housemates). I began to loath LDR. I started to hate flying so frequently. And I absolutely hate it when I have to choose who I wanted to spend my limited time with in KL.
But was all that worth giving up a good job for? I wasn't convinced so. But suddenly, opportunity presented itself to me. An opportunity to go back to KL. I didn't jump on it immediately...because I was afraid. Afraid that my 2 years in Penang would go to waste. Afraid that it's just an impulse and I would regret giving up my current field. Afraid that it would be a mistake to choose to go back for just for people.
I did a lot of soul searching and...online researches (what would we do without you, oh Google!). I found some inspiring posts. Among them who gave me the biggest impact was none other than Danny Choo, as well as James Altucher. Danny was amazing. His posts convinced me that it was okay to choose a location over a job. And he's happy.
The support I got from the people whom I care about most was overwhelming. That convinced me too.
In the end, I concluded that it is okay to choose something else over a good job in life. It is okay to reset to zero again and start again else where. It is okay if my reason for leaving is just to go home. It is not wrong if all I wanted was just to spend time with the people that I care about. If I am not happy with life outside my job, how can I say that I am happy as a whole?
People were also skeptical of me. Saying that I won't be able to make it again in KL. They couldn't leave themselves, so they hope that I will fail too to make them feel better. Well, I want to prove that person wrong. I still can do it again even if I had to start over.
I won't ever know if I would like what comes next or not, but right now, I would like to try.
So. I am leaving.
And strangely... after giving that letter, I am genuinely excited and looking forward to the change that will come.
It's the last 45 days of 2013. I'll be smiling. I'll be making plans. I am glad that I'm doing something that makes myself happy, even if it seems like a small matter to someone else.
Just broke the news to the people who think that I wouldn't ever make this decision. I'm having the last laugh now. It feels pretty damn good.
P/s: I kept a big resolution for 2013. Fuck yeah!!
